I Have Lost Interest In My Marriage,and I'm Almost in an affair

Hello,Linda

My name is Amanda Tony .This is my problem and i need it to be put out for your readers to read, think before they speak . I have been married for 10 years with 2 children. We had a very wonderful relationship when we dated and the early stage of our marriage was blossoming.

Then we started having challenges; challenges of infidelity and loss of intimacy on his part. We worked through it somehow and we keep moving on!
linda, the past three years have been so difficult that, I have totally lost interest in my marriage and I am almost in an extra marital affair. I stay out with this new guy, we kiss and touch but we just haven’t had sexual relations yet.

My husband totally lost interest in love making and I keep wondering why? He’s been unfaithful a couple of times in the relationship but I have forgiven him and we have always moved on. I have tried to keep myself in shape, I am quite beautiful, industrious and hard working. I am always well groomed and cultured.

Ironically, he will constantly tell me how good looking i am and provides perfectly for the home.  A very generous man he is who eats at home and doesn’t act suspiciously.

For as long as intimacy doesn’t come up, we are very good together. Once it comes up, tension heightens between us. It is like a forbidden subject.
We have drifted very far apart because we are not connected emotionally in any way. We don’t get intimate in any way at all.

There are times I will have to write to beg him to be intimate with me yet he refuses but at other times,  he reluctantly will. This could be three to five months apart. We live together, share the same room, he tells me he loves me and buys gifts for the children and I regularly!

I am very lonely and this is affecting everything I do. I recently bumped into this old friend of mine and we hooked up with each other. His family lives abroad and he is here on feasibility studies for his company. I spoke to him and he offered me a shoulder to cry on.

we have been at this for about three weeks. My friend and I spend every little time we get together, we have lunch, I spend time with him after work and our weekends are great as well.

My husband is hardly home and so doesn’t know anything about my whereabouts.
But for the fact that I fear God, my personal principles, love for my kids and the respect I still have for my husband, I would be having an affair outside my home. What do I do? I am very frustrated and unhappy.
I have tried all the antics a woman can do to bring a man around but… with him I feel less of a woman. I have spoken to him severally but to no avail.
Our counsellor whom I confided in says it is the devil at work in my marriage so I should pray.

My sister says she believes my husband must have contracted a disease and doesn’t want me to be infected.
Whichever way you look at it Linda, I am very frustrated and starved. I need help and advice.

I honestly don’t mind if he is having an affair, I just need him to give me my place….
Now, What could be Mr.Tony's problem?
What could make a man not want intimacy with his wife? Now if she goes into infidelity with another man and is caught, she will be cursed, nailed by people, friends and relative, so to avoid this, what would you advise her to do, seeing that her husband doesn’t have a normal libido…. your advice........